#1 On hobbies ( rant)

It's easier to start something than to continue it. Who to know better about this from than a coward like me. Hi it's neil, I'm that kind of a guy who has a new hobby every few months. Is that great ? Am i happy about it ? No !!!!! 

What can I do ? Idk....

So if you know me and follow me on instagram you'll probably see me posting about chess one day, volleyball the other, than randomly football and then again randomly cricket. I don't really know why this happens. I guess a part of me knows it and is sick of it but can't get rid of it. I dream a lot. Yeh, a small spark can really make the whole forest of my mind burn. Suddenly i find something interesting and then boom!!! I am dreaming about all sort of unrealistic things that can't be real unless Jesus returns. There is term for people like me, I guess - "arse". That sounds informal i know but that's true. 

I guess I can improve this habit by sticking to a certain hobby but life, God likes to mess around and make it unlikely for me to. But still i can't blame an imaginary thing for what's happening down here. So what can I do ? I guess try sticking to one hobby. Currently I don't have one. After joining hostle every hobby, passion of mine dried off and all i do is write. People consider that a hobby ? Yeh i guess... But for me, I've been doing it for a while (2017) and it's always been there in the back of my mind and not as a like serious thing. I do it, i like it and I'm ok at it. But writing again is a very like basic thing. Something epic ?? Outdoor maybe. I really need to have an hobby. It's scary to live without one as life gets boring but it's also important to respect it and not leave it as soon as it gets hard or boring, like i do ( sounds crazy i know, thing you do to resist boredom can be boring cause maybe at one point this hobby subconsciously changes into a person's way of life, and getting better at it is something a person starts seeking desperately, the dopamine blast. And its tough to improve at something. These two things are like two sides of a coin unless you have a passive hobby. By passive i mean reading or fishing. Which are hobbies but not that competitive. I guess i somewhere got lost between hooby and passion, which both are absolutely similar terms but a thin line separates them.) 

You might be used to reading blogs written by  some successful pseudo motivator. But you can't expect that from a genuine student writing blogs with the sole purpose of improving his writing skills. I'm keeping this side of me, seen less by people so maybe you could learn from my mistakes.

My friends are better. Atleast they stick to a hobby. Like once i introduced volleyball to my boys and all of my boys started playing it, then I left it. About volleyball i can't blame myself. I don't know, it stopped kicking. I wasn't a phenomenal player and people around me expected atleast good play from me.... And i couldn't deliver it. So i lost grip. 

It also sucks to see the school team leave to go to other schools. I have been studying in my school for 10 years and, i have not even once been in a school team. I was close once but yeh..... 

Again I want to say that this blog might feel more like an internal monoluge (sometimes). Yeh sometimes as i also have some articles lying around which will be coming out here. 

Thanks reader for reading this. I will return and next time not an internal monoluge but something better. This concept is fairly new to me so beat with me as I go through this charector development. 

But i guess this problem of hobbies aren't suffered by only me. There are some great articles you can read on this topic, even books. So even i myself sometimes feel absolutely bad thinking why I can't improve. That's how this article started ' frustration '.  Reading at the end of the can help but maybe not. Nothing can help people like me but all we can have is hope, that maybe we'll find one hobby that sticks. 




Thanks
neil

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MOURNING MY DEATH

Image
1. The Death  The slow night is over, The new sun its brighter,  And you woke up late, Its the usual.  What if you get a phone call?  And they tell you about me,  You hear my name, reminisce about what we've been,  Would you cry a bit or break down to tears?  do you fear death or living like its over ? I wonder who would come to see me, A flawed man, fueled by hunger, Materialism and tangibility, Like on a lost pathway,  I know you missed me, The way i was, the way you perceived me,  Im scared my love, i wanna have a legacy, People forget, but will you cry, remember me ?  What if i was not whatever you say?  What if im dead now, and everyone forgets ?  Cause whats there to, truly remember then, I was a flawed man, i hurt a bunch of them,  I lost my battles and hid the scars when People asked me how ive been, What if i die now and you marry someone else ?  What if i die now, would you have stories to tell...
Read more

WHERE AM I, WHERE WILL I BE

1. WHERE AM I ?  I see myself in a different light, away from the green leaves, away from the awake birds. I see myself soaking in rain, like the muddy water,  Its depth made up.  Like the leaves of fall, Brittle, weak.  Breaking away the illution, Don't you see the cracks my reflection make.  Breaking away this story,  Don't you see the who's beyond the ocean.  It isn't blue, it isn't blue, It has drained, drained of everything that made it.  It hasn't woken up, It didn't sleep, It just wept, slipt through the gaps, Into what was, the castle undone, The house burnt,  A lie belived in.  Where am i?  Within. Where am i?  Within,  Alone,  With,  Oneself. 2. STORY OF THE CONCIOUS  Grow apart from me, Like the streams,  Be yourself.  Grow apart, now that im awake, Now that i see there's nothing, Be yourself.  Can i be myself?  Can i write and be judged, Write and be laughed at?  Can i wr...
Read more

youth, thy bliss

Image
SIDE A  1. for, Existing in different realms of reality, The translucent, the windows from my words to my morality, Volatility in every bone of my body, Some things will change, But you are my propriety, My terms with reality, Path to sobriety,  from trumpets heavens seem to play, What hemlock was to pioneers of the world we see. To hold on to you, to be part of that world we dream, To be with you, In death and in the life we live, In pavements and in the future we see, You're my northern star, Walking down La ville lumière, Like camus and Francine, tu es à moi, Tu es a moi 2. Oh poor  All we were as children, All our white plain ts, They are all pale now, Teary eyed goodbyes now, The acid and jane you stayed away from. The wild youth has come, The scary nervous wreck needs an outlet.  Oh you're so wild and hungry, Your love never found an outlet, And now you're letting it fill the one you've made your, The one standing up, when you're getting bullied li...
Read more